Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Andy on December 15, 2009 at 12:36pm

Vanity? Isn't that the cabinet in the bathroom?

Who cares that someone has a CPAP? I certainly don't.

My children think it's cool that I use it, and my son comes in to hear me talk while it's on. Yes, he's told me that I'm Darth!

I've been trying to get my wife to do a sleep study. She snores so loudly, that it can be hear everywhere in the house. I tell her it would be cool for us to have matching CPAPs!

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Permalink Reply by D. W. Conn on December 15, 2009 at 2:20pm

Well there is diet, exercise, and or UPP as alternatives depending on the type of apnea that one has..I am not intending to sound like I am giving a rude comment

Glenn L. Reeder, Jr. said:

I'm embarrassed to wear mine in the same bed with my wife. I've started sleeping in another bedroom. I hate it and think its ridiculous that this is the best thing medical science can come up with.


bayoulady said:

I'm so grateful that I'm diagnosed and on therapy. Sleep is so much better most nights now, and no more falling asleep at the wheel.

But...hello?Needles you can neatly hide away. Not so the mask and hose, and the swoosh of the machine. I do feel UGLY when I don the mask. I'm single, and the night I put that on for the first time....wellllllll. I was sad.. I figured any thoughts of a man in my life again someday is OVER...I mean who'd wanna look at that? But then, I just turned 60, so WHO CARES?????

But for the younger ones...yes,it is a life saver, but we don't have to pretend it's attractive, do we?If both of them wore masks attached to a long hose, they might be more comfortable.

I really don't mind if someone comments it is ugly and cumbersome.......because it is, even to me. No matter how glad I am to have it.

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Permalink Reply by 99 on December 15, 2009 at 3:04pm

who's the pretty woman in the mask
blue eyes
pearly white teeth
freckles

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Permalink Reply by Rock Conner RRT on December 15, 2009 at 6:23pm

I am frequently asked by new users about how PAP will effect their sex lives. I call it the social question.

1) Although it's easy for me to say, if PAP chases off a potential mate the good riddance. If he or she leaves over your PAP therapy, he or sh would have soon left over something else.

2) As a practical matter, PAP masks are applied when it's time to go to SLEEP, after all romantic extracurricular activities are concluded. If the romance went well, it won't matter what mask you put on to sleep in.

Rock C.

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Permalink Reply by Andy on December 15, 2009 at 9:09pm

Hey Glen,

Have you talked with her about this? Does she agree that it's somehow embarrasing, or that it's upsetting to her?

Unless there's something else going on, I'd expect that she'd rather have you with her, with your mask on, than you sleeping somewhere else.

As for your embarrasment, what type of mask do you have? Maybe one of the less obtrusive ones would help? I'm thinking maybe one of the nasal pillows type, where the hose can be routed down. At that point, the thing is minimally noticable.

As for my wife, she's happy that I'm getting proper sleep, and not choking and gasping my way through the night. She says the sound of the flow generator and the exhaust from the mask is soothing to her.

I'd hate to see this CPAP thing get in the way of your relationship. Of course, I'm no marriage counsellor...

Glenn L. Reeder, Jr. said:

I'm embarrassed to wear mine in the same bed with my wife

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Permalink Reply by Judy on December 15, 2009 at 9:57pm

Well, there's always the only known CURE for sleep apnea - a tracheotomy. Really, Glenn - TALK to your wife. Tell her how you feel about your CPAP and mask. That mask and machine could save your LIFE, man!! DON'T let your feelings about the mask and CPAP destroy your marriage!!! Work hard on developing a good attitude adjustment.

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Permalink Reply by birdshell on December 15, 2009 at 10:00pm

Yes, j n k, that was me. I sincerely wish that I had benefited from that wonderful humidity much earlier in life. Maybe I would have spent much less time stanching the bleeding from my nostrils. I know that my comfort level would have increased.

Karen

j n k said:

It can help to be excited and to describe it as a machine that "makes me sleep great every night as it stops all my snoring and filters/humidifies/warms the air I breathe as it pressurizes it." I usually quote birdshell, I think it was, who made the point one time that she would use the machine for the conditioning of the air she breathes at night even if she didn't have sleep apnea.

I try to make guests who get a demonstration walk away wishing they were fortunate enough to be allowed to use such a wonderfully refreshing machine.

Yeah. They're jealous. I can tell. :-)

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Permalink Reply by Darillyn Patterson on December 15, 2009 at 10:04pm

I don't know if any of you are aware of this website: www.nomask.com

My twin sister, who also uses CPAP, just told me about this tonight, and I've been looking it over. According to the testimonials that are posted, people really seem to like it. Rather than try to describe it to you, I suggest you go to that site and see for yourself. There is no mask and no straps. A man who was diagnosed with sleep apnea and found it very difficult to adapt to the masks decided to come up with a solution. What's that saying?..."necessity is the mother of invention" or something like that. He knew the importance of having CPAP therapy, so he didn't want to go without it. This is his answer to the problem many of us have with masks. Check it out.

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Permalink Reply by birdshell on December 15, 2009 at 10:05pm

I agree, and still contend that a CPAP setup with mask is the PERFECT screening tool for a potential mate. Someone who does not care enough about you to see through the mask (or any other minor defect) does not deserve to be trusted with one of my most private and personal posessions: ME!!!

I never seem to see the external person after an initial introductory period, anyway. Hey, I think Judy is pretty cute! ;-)

Karen
j n k said:

I hear you, bayoulady, and I think what you say is how most normal think about it. I'm just not normal, I guess.

I know I'm weird, but I can't for the life of me grasp the whole 'I'm worried what I look like when I'm asleep' thing. I mean, very few people look good while asleep, right?. Which is OK, since, technically, the person isn't even 'present' but away in dreamland, as far as that goes.

When people sleep, their hair is messed up if it isn't in rollers or hidden beneath a scarf. People make funny noises, drool, belch, pass gas, thrash about with their arms in funny positions. They wear eye-shades and ear plugs and old T-shirts with holes in them. So why should we as CPAP users get our pj's in a twist (those of us who wear pj's, that is) about how we look when we are asleep? We make fewer funny noises and sleep more peacefully than the average person, with our machine.

And speaking of machines, a lot of people use machines to improve their sleep, not just CPAP users. They buy noise machines to drown out noisy neighbors, they turn on a ceiling fan or air conditioner in the bedroom, they use ionizers and humidifiers, and they rely on an alarm clock to wake them up. Maybe our machine is a little more intimate than those, but it is just one machine among many that people use for sleep, as I see it.

I am proud of mine. I like to show it off. It impresses people. I can tell. :-)

I don't have to see myself when I'm asleep. And the only person who does see me sleep loves me and expects me not to make fun of how she looks when she is asleep, so she does me the same favor. Sharing a bed is an act of intimacy where those kinds or rules are understood, or should be.

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Permalink Reply by susan mccord on December 15, 2009 at 10:19pm

Ah, Jeff, humble and lovable as usual..............!

j n k said:

My wife would beg to differ, I'm sure. :-)

You'll find better than me. Much better.

jeff

susan mccord said:

Jeff--Spoken by a mature, highly-evolved man! Are there any more of you out there?? lol

Susan :-)

j n k said:

@ Susan: Well said. Thanks. I didn't mean to be insensitive about it. Being concerned about what other people think is healthy as long as it doesn't detract from our self-respect. I respect a woman who takes care of herself in her sleep, and to me the machine is only about sleep and intimacy happens when people are awake.

@ Rock: I have given up on looking great--asleep or awake. At this point I'm just happy to stay alive! :-)

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Permalink Reply by birdshell on December 15, 2009 at 10:19pm

Susan, I am 56 and single. I have a great personality and am very social, plus I am smart, independent and (kind of) cute--at least, I am well groomed but not overly fussy about it. I'm STILL not going to share ME with anyone who is truly not worthy. A perfect screening tool is my CPAP.

Of course, there are a few faults that I am willing to see through. I do NOT wish to be around someone shallow enough to judge character by the use of a life saving machine, a hose and a mask. But, that is just ME! I respect the feelings of anyone else, I just do not choose to see life-preserving medical treatments as a negative character trait.

As for a tracheostomy, talk about INVASIVE! I have a friend whose father is extremely obese and who had a trach for years. He had the trach reversed and began using a CPAP, which was my only reference when I was diagnosed. I am very glad that there is a minimally invasive treatment that works as well as it does.

Besides, some of my best friends have become known to me through my use of CPAP and CPAP related forums. Most of them even use CPAP.

Karen


susan mccord said:

I understand what you're saying, Jeff, and I agree. BUT I also know exactly where Jackie's coming from. Being single and older and, yes, still interested, it takes on a whole new meaning. There's a huge difference in an established relationship from a potential or new relationship.....there's an unknown vulnerability factor with latter.....the issue for some of us single folks isn't about how we look when we're asleep!
McCord
j n k said:

I hear you, bayoulady, and I think what you say is how most normal think about it. I'm just not normal, I guess.

I know I'm weird, but I can't for the life of me grasp the whole 'I'm worried what I look like when I'm asleep' thing. I mean, very few people look good while asleep, right?. Which is OK, since, technically, the person isn't even 'present' but away in dreamland, as far as that goes.

When people sleep, their hair is messed up if it isn't in rollers or hidden beneath a scarf. People make funny noises, drool, belch, pass gas, thrash about with their arms in funny positions. They wear eye-shades and ear plugs and old T-shirts with holes in them. So why should we as CPAP users get our pj's in a twist (those of us who wear pj's, that is) about how we look when we are asleep? We make fewer funny noises and sleep more peacefully than the average person, with our machine.

And speaking of machines, a lot of people use machines to improve their sleep, not just CPAP users. They buy noise machines to drown out noisy neighbors, they turn on a ceiling fan or air conditioner in the bedroom, they use ionizers and humidifiers, and they rely on an alarm clock to wake them up. Maybe our machine is a little more intimate than those, but it is just one machine among many that people use for sleep, as I see it.

I am proud of mine. I like to show it off. It impresses people. I can tell. :-)

I don't have to see myself when I'm asleep. And the only person who does see me sleep loves me and expects me not to make fun of how she looks when she is asleep, so she does me the same favor. Sharing a bed is an act of intimacy where those kinds or rules are understood, or should be.

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Permalink Reply by BeeAsleep on December 15, 2009 at 11:34pm

I have to admit that in the beginning it was very embarrassing for me to wear my mask in front of my husband. He thought I was being kinda weird about that since we have been married for so long and seen each other in every which way. I think it was an idea I had about masks that I got from television. I only saw a mask on someone when they were dying in the hospital or were really old and infirm. I had no exposure at all to the CPAP experience, so no frame of reference at all. So it was me who had all the weird ideas that I needed to get over. I am being honest about this, I didn't put on my mask and dance all over the house relishing the idea that I was so fortunate as to be able to wear a plastic mask to bed each night. It was a struggle, it was hard, it was uncomfortable....but I wanted to live. So I learned to deal with it. It isn't the first thing I tell people I meet, in fact it does not come up in the conversation. It is something I use to stay alive and well. It is not who I am.
Now my husband has had a sleep study and uses a CPAP himself, he is very comfortable with his mask...and together we have purring machines side by side on the bed stand....and we are living happily ever after. :>D

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