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Signicant other has other ideas about OSA treatment
Any one else have a mate constantingly pushing surgery, products from the newspaper to "stop snoring and cure sleep apnea", dental devices, etc?
I'm getting tired of explaining that no matter how much trouble CPAP seems to be, that chin strap ads out of the newspaper are not the answer, that surgery is quite involved and most of all means finding the right surgeon plus your anatomy and the surgeons ability to tell if you're actually a candidate, and that dental appliances are expensive and you need the right dentist. Nothing near as easy and likely to work (in my opinion) as plain old CPAP. Plus with surgery there is no reversal and requires looking and fixing everything that needs fixing from the nose down.
I'm getting tired of defending my decision to continue with CPAP as by far the best solution for me at this time.
How about it? Anyone else fighting this battle?
Thanks,
Mary Z.
Views: 33
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by sleepycarol on
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Tell him once he gets a sleep study (has he had one) to determine if he has sleep apnea and the surgery to "fix" the problem and the accompanying pain associated with it and a new sleep study to determine if he still has sleep apnea and if so then gets a dental device and make it work and another sleep study to prove it is working -- I think you get the point.
My family sort of scoffed at me when I first started. Since then my son-in-law has been diagnosed and is using a cpap and feeling much better. And they can see the improvement in me -- so they are more open minded now.
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Permalink Reply by susan mccord on
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Mary, would he be willing to come onto SleepGuide and just tune in to what's going on here? Or even ask his questions of SG members instead of questioning you? Sure sounds like he needs more information. Has he been to the sleep doctor with you?? That might help if yours is a good communicator.....
Susan McCord :-)
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Permalink Reply by Kathleen on
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Hi, Mary
I'm sorry that you have this extra burden. Luckily, my husband advocated my use of the CPAP.
I bet there's more behind your mate's nagging, other than what I interpret to be selfishness.
I'm surprised that he would encourage you to have unnecessary surgeries, especially if there is absolutely no guarantee they would do the trick for you.
Rather than defend your reasons, maybe it would be worthwhile to ask HIM to tell you why it's so important to HIM, etc., and try to get some dialogue going. You have no need to defend yourself; it's your body, and your decision, and "that's that". Besides, you're both asleep at the time you use your mask, so there's more that he may not be telling you - if he even realizes it himself. Heck, if it gets bad enough, wear it during the day, just so he can get used to it; after all, that's something you needed to do, eh?
Remember that it's his problem, not yours, and let him know you are ready to help him get over HIS problem with the mask.
Good luck on this, Mary.
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Permalink Reply by Judy on
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Kathleen Kush is oh so right!!!! She has said it all.
Kathleen Kush said:
Rather than defend your reasons, maybe it would be worthwhile to ask HIM to tell you why it's so important to HIM ... You have no need to defend yourself; it's your body, and your decision ... Remember that it's his problem, not yours, and let him know you are ready to help him get over HIS problem with the mask....
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Permalink Reply by Mary Z on
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Thanks for the support, everyone. I think the reason behind all the insistance that there has got to be another way is because my nose gets so sore and red and I can be so stubborn about taking time off to let it heal. I'll ask my mate some of your questions next time it comes up, but I know from experience (trying) that there will be no visits to SleepGuide or the Doctor . Acually, and I don't think it matters to anyone here, but it will be easier to keep my pronouns straight, my "he" is a "she". We've been to gether through thick and thin for over ten years. She's been supportive of my CPAP until the problems with the bridge of my nose got so bad, then she really got frustrated with my stubborness and fear about taking the time off to heal. She took care of me for a good three or more years while my mental health was so bad I couldn't do it myself. (Thank goodness she doesn't believe in bootstraps, as in pulling yourself together by your bootstraps.)
So I don't, or shouldn't have, made her sound like an ogre. It's just been so hard to explain that surgery is not like getting your tonsils out and that dental devices are expensive and may not work while CPAP is a pretty sure thing.
I didn't mean to mislead anyone, but as I read your responses and thought more about the situation I could see how her attitude was a response to my foolishness.
Thanks so much, and again, I didn't mean to mislead y'all by not telling the whole truth of the situation.
Mary Z.
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Permalink Reply by RockRpsgt on
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No one judges here Mary. thank you for being honest about your relationship. that means alot to me, as I am sure it will to others.
Mary Z said:Thanks for the support, everyone. I think the reason behind all the insistance that there has got to be another way is because my nose gets so sore and red and I can be so stubborn about taking time off to let it heal. I'll ask my mate some of your questions next time it comes up, but I know from experience (trying) that there will be no visits to SleepGuide or the Doctor . Acually, and I don't think it matters to anyone here, but it will be easier to keep my pronouns straight, my "he" is a "she". We've been to gether through thick and thin for over ten years. She's been supportive of my CPAP until the problems with the bridge of my nose got so bad, then she really got frustrated with my stubborness and fear about taking the time off to heal. She took care of me for a good three or more years while my mental health was so bad I couldn't do it myself. (Thank goodness she doesn't believe in bootstraps, as in pulling yourself together by your bootstraps.)
So I don't, or shouldn't have, made her sound like an ogre. It's just been so hard to explain that surgery is not like getting your tonsils out and that dental devices are expensive and may not work while CPAP is a pretty sure thing.
I didn't mean to mislead anyone, but as I read your responses and thought more about the situation I could see how her attitude was a response to my foolishness.
Thanks so much, and again, I didn't mean to mislead y'all by not telling the whole truth of the situation.
Mary Z.
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Ahhhh, yesss! That makes her lack of support for the CPAP "much" more understandable - and in fact, even appreciated. So, maybe if we can get you over and past the sore damage to the bridge of the nose she will better understand! Which means finding you THE right mask and how best to adjust your equipment, for instance reducing hose drag on your mask, etc.
It seems to me the CORE of your problems acclimating SUCCESSFULLY to CPAP therapy is the lack of support and interest by your sleep PROFESSIONALS (what a misnomer!!!). Hopefully, we can do for you what your local "support" professionals can't and won't!!! And that is getting you COMFORTABLE AND SUCCESSFUL w/your CPAP therapy.
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Yep, I agree with Judy, Mary. And I also agree with Rock--you've given us all a great gift by trusting us with your relationship status. Thank you! Did you notice how the entire conversation turned around the minute we understood?.....
Love = love = love = who cares? I'm happy you have such a kind, loving partner. Not everybody does. Sounds like she has your very best interests at heart.
XOXO Susan :-)
Judy said:Ahhhh, yesss! That makes her lack of support for the CPAP "much" more understandable - and in fact, even appreciated. So, maybe if we can get you over and past the sore damage to the bridge of the nose she will better understand! Which means finding you THE right mask and how best to adjust your equipment, for instance reducing hose drag on your mask, etc.
It seems to me the CORE of your problems acclimating SUCCESSFULLY to CPAP therapy is the lack of support and interest by your sleep PROFESSIONALS (what a misnomer!!!). Hopefully, we can do for you what your local "support" professionals can't and won't!!! And that is getting you COMFORTABLE AND SUCCESSFUL w/your CPAP therapy.
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