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Kinda off subject.
I have 3 teenagers. 2 boys and 1 girl. They are very disrespectful. The 2 boys are my stepsons and I can't seem to get a relationship with them other than us yelling at each other. They play my wife and I off of each other. The oldest one stands up to me like he is a full grown man and when I call his bluff my wife jumps in and pushes me back. He is almost 16 and is taller than me. The reason I am posting this is because a lot of times when I go to bed my nerves are shot and I have a hard time falling asleep. I find myself longing for the years to pass so the boys will grow up and move out. I hate feeling this way about my stepkids but I can't help it. Anyway folks I am just venting. thanks for letting me....
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Donna B. on
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I am a step-parent too, we had custody of the boys for 7/8 years, from age 9&10 to ages 16&17) I know right where you are coming from. My boys are 21 & 20 now. The teenage years are the most difficult by far. It can put a huge strain on your marriage when you have different ideas on punishment and basic rules. My boys were good to me in that they never once said "You're not my mother". I was lucky in that respect. But, they would pit my husband and I against each other on occasion. We had some rip-roarin' fights over them. Sometimes you just have to bite your tongue and let it go, once you say it you can't take it back ! The one thing my husband and I never did was bad mouth their mom, no matter what she did or said about us, we never stooped to her level. It's hard not to do but you do it for the kid's sake.
It does get easier as they get older, they will want to be your friend and not your parent at some point. That is what I have found now that they are grown. We now have a great relationship with their mom and step-dad. It takes a lot of hard work, sometimes harder than anything you'll ever do in life. You do if for the kids.
Hope this helps,
Donna B.
Hope this helps,
Donna B.
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Permalink Reply by Judy on
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I had a stepmother and a stepfather and I lived w/one set of parents or the other as I grew up. I remember the stunts I pulled. Then I was a divorcee w/2 kids. My children were taught to respect their stepfather. There were times I thought he was perhaps too hard on them. But I kept my mouth shut until we were alone and I was careful how I approached the subject so that he didn't ever feel that I was undermining or trying to undermine him.
At 22 years of age "our" son had his surname legally changed to his stepfather's surname out of love and respect for his "father". "Our" daughter asked her "father" to walk her down the aisle.
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Permalink Reply by 99 on
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i know how difficult it is as i brought up two of my three children on my own
the strain which i belive has put my health in a bad position but i would do it again and look for better outcomes
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Permalink Reply by Banyon on
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Billy, Sleep apnea has caused marital discord and family discord for many people and is a heavy contributor to our high divorce rate.
My suggestion is to do the best you can and don't feel guilty about it. You did not ask to be afflicted with sleep apnea - it is not your fault.
Of course you know the yelling is not a good thing and if you can, you should muster the discipline to stop yelling and ignore the yelling of the children.
Right now you need to concentrate on your CPAP therapy and sleep hygiene. This can help in the other troublesome aspects of your life.
Good luck.
BTW, As a big fan of The Dog Whisperer, I enjoy this South Park episode, http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s10e07-tsst, on how to deal with an unruly child. If you are not a fan of The Dog Whisperer, I doubt you would enjoy it.
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