February 06, 2011|By Steve Rubenstein, Special to The Chronicle 

. . . And there is the Bay Area's very own horse in the pillow steeplechase - the Oxygen Pillow.

That particular pillow comes from a mattress store in Berkeley. It's promoted nonstop in radio commercials as the cure to what ails you. The Oxygen Pillow costs the trance-inducing sum of $130. You can't just buy one off the shelf, however. You have to go into the store for a customized fitting.

It seemed like a good place to start. This reporter dropped by the European Sleepworks store on Adeline Street and said he was looking for a pillow.

"It's not a pillow - it's an investment," said the pillow lady. "Lie down."

The Oxygen Pillow comes in 12 firmnesses and thicknesses, more choices than at some ice cream stores.

"Side sleeper, back sleeper or stomach sleeper?" asked the pillow lady. "Firm or soft?"

This reporter, strictly a side man, laid his head upon a thin pillow. It was too thin, the pillow lady said. Or else his head was too thick. That was always possible. He tried a thicker pillow. It was too thick, the pillow lady said. She was kneeling alongside him, checking the alignment and the topography, as if lining up a putt at Pebble Beach. The idea, she said, is for the pillow to be just thick enough for the sleeper's windpipe to be perfectly horizontal, without any kinks. For $130, you do not want to end up with a kinked windpipe.

"You're overextended," said the pillow lady. "Your shoulders are stacked. This may take some time."

There was too much at stake to rush. The pillow lady repeated the mantra of the bedding trade - you spend one-third of your life asleep, so let's not cut corners. After four pillows were sampled, the pillow lady declared that this reporter's proper pillow size was "1.5 medium" and presented him with a instruction manual, which was to be read thoroughly before any sleeping should be attempted.

"Oxygen Pillow Positioning Instructions," read the manual. "Position the pillow against the top of the shoulder and neck, not under the shoulder. Use the front third to front half of the pillow, with the pillow angled slightly downward."

That night, despite all best efforts at shoulder and neck position, this reporter woke up three times and had a bad dream. It was time to try a different pillow. Fortunately, there were plenty to choose from.