I've sat here mesmerized for almost 2 hours, reading page after page of discussions. While I could easily relate to much of what I read, I didn't really read a scenario quite like mine. Maybe I'm just weird, but here goes:
I was diagnosed with sleep apnea 2-1/2 years ago, but I believe I had sleep issues long, long before that. At that time I had a crazy job that was both mentally and physically exhausting. I got up at 4:30am, was on the road by 5 for an hour long commute, got to work at 6:00, went full blast for 10 hours, constantly solving conflicts and dealing with problems all day long, left work between 4-5 pm, my afternoon commute was an hour and a half long in rush hour traffic, so I got home around 6:30 pm, had to deal with dinner, kids, the house, life in general, got to bed around 11:00pm, had a horrible night's sleep, and started the whole process over the next day. I was always exhausted, would often wake up in the middle of the night thinking about my job, and yet suffered from insomnia. I started gaining weight, started looking old, it was real scary. I kept this pace up for several years. Then, a year before I was diagnosed, I had an older daughter murdered, as well as an unborn grandson. Suddenly my sleep issues became even worse. I could put it all out of my mind during the day at work, but the minute I tried to close my eyes and sleep, it all came rushing back. My husband was often out of town for weeks at a time, and when he was gone, I had even worse problems getting to sleep at night. Have I mentioned the insomnia yet? lol Yet on weekends, I could never sleep past 6:30 am, or so. I schemed, I plotted, I planned, I manipulated trying to catch up on sleep, but it never worked. If I sat still for a few minutes, I would fall asleep on the couch, but in bed, I would toss and turn for hours. I never went to the movies; I would sleep through them! Six months before I was diagnosed, I started having problems driving to work each morning. I had a 9 mile stretch of rural interstate that was hard to stay awake on. I would drive with all the windows down, and the radio on full blast, and still have to pull over and do jumping jacks beside the interstate. Once I got into the more populated areas, I could stay alert better, but that first nine mile was a nightmare. I was putting more and more weight on, yet constantly dieting. I was never obese, but I weighed more than was comfortable on my small frame.I had sores on my body that wouldn't heal for weeks. I started losing my temper alot, which isn't like me. I cried at the least little upset. A month before I was diagnosed, I started having trouble staying awake at work. In the afternoons, I couldn't get any work done at my computer, because I couldn't stay awake. It's not like I had a quite office; in fact it was very noisy with people coming and going constantly, yet I couldn't stay awake in it. Then I started having problems driving home; 50 miles one way is a long way to drive when you can't hardly stay awake.
I can remember sitting in the doctor's office telling her all this as she listened quitely, saying hardly nothing at all for the 10 minutes or so that I sat there, crying and babbling. Then she said, "I think you have sleep apnea", and I thought to myself...'yeah, and you're stupid and wasted 7 years of medical school'! Even when I went to my first sleep lab, I was convinced I didn't have sleep apnea. But I did. And I made some decisions to change my life. Not because I was thinking lucidly, but because I was just to exhausted to deal with it anymore. A week after I got my CPAP, I finished working out my notice and went on the road with my husband. I walked away from 45 grand a year, and federal employee benefits. Did it all get better right away? Absolutley not!! It was six months before I went back to my sleep disorder doctor. I was still crying about everything, still couldn't lose weight. At that time he told me we had only fixed the apnea problem. Apparently, my brain didn't go into REM sleep the way it should. I for got to mention earlier; I quit breathing an average of 12 times per hour. Well apparently, most of my apneas were during my REM sleep, because at that time I quit breathing an average of 40 times per hour. No wonder I was exhausted!!! He put me on sleeping pills which I took for 6 months, but once my prescription ran out, I had to stop. When I left my job, I also lost my health insurance. So I haven't been back to my doctor since. So how is my sleep apnea now? It's still there, but I use my CPAP every night. I also fight with it every night, but I couldn't imagine not using it. Do I have alot of excess energy now? No- but I have so much more than I did! I've lost 45 pounds, but more importantly, I look like my old self again! I'd like to lose another 20 pounds, and I'm sure I will. I don't look old anymore, in fact most people say I look about 10 years younger than I am. Every now and then I come across a picture of me back in my sleep deprivation stage, and I'm just amazed!!! I've come to realize, I have a sleep disorder, and it's up to me to figure out how to function with it. I still have insomnia,so I take OCT sleep pills. When I don't take them, I can't sleep. I just went back to work (finally!) and although I'm in the same type of work, I drive about 30 miles a day, instead of 100. Most importantly, I don't have to wake up with the roosters, and run out the door in a rush. I can get up and take my time getting ready. I have come to discover that that is important with my kind of sleep issues. Soon, I'll have insurance again, and I'll find another sleep doctor. Meanwhile my life is controllable again. I'll probably never be perky in the morning, but some people simply aren't. Maybe I'm one of them! :) Yes, I still have sleep issues, but I'm alive, and I no longer cry about every upset, and I'm no where near as bad as I was 2-3 years ago, I just had to make some life altering changes in my life. And while I didn't get the 'miracle' difference I had hoped for, I can handle my life this way!