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Kicked out of the room?
I am the type of person that usually "gives in" to the needs of others...I have always allowed whoever is riding in the car with me to CHOOSE the radio station...force of habit...been this way all my life.
My husband suffers from panic disorder and I have a CPAP machine...I finally MOVED out of our master bedroom to another room on the other side of the house because of his complaints that it is too noisy. I don't believe it is that bad, but I just don't want to hear the complaining. He is getting mighty comfortable in our kingbed. I am in a twin bed on the other side of the house.
Does our "intimate" life suffer....OH YEAH...His sleep patterns, he probably could use a CPAP too...however, he will never go in to get his sleep problems analyzed.
Another factor, I have Multiple Sclerosis...yeah....I ain't kidding.
I've been diagnosed for about 24 yrs now. I am mobile and only have problems with stamina...for the most part, I take care of the home. Quit working 2003 because I was exacerbating too often.
I'm venting. I am not real happy about all of this but DUE to someone else's struggles with FEAR ...
Well...I don't know.
I would love to throw the CPAP out...but I do sleep better with it than without.
oh help....blessings to all!
Mary
Views: 1209
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jeffrey Donaldson on
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One other thing. You mentioned that your husband has "panic disorder" and that he also might be a candidate for C-pap. If he does have OSA that could be related to the panic disorder. I know firsthand what OSA can do to the brain. I was on antidepressants for several years for panic and depression until my OSA was discovered and treated. Not long after the antidepressents went into the trash and I have been fine since (17 years). You might try to have go on here and read up on OSA. With enough "gentle prodding", you might get him in for a study.
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Permalink Reply by Jenny Nixe on
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Mary, as someone who also has panic disorder, I can sympathize with your husband's struggles. However, as with any mental or physical disorder, people with panic/anxiety must take responsibility for their own health. Forcing people around you to change their lives to accomodate your fear is not taking responsibility. Your husband could wear ear plugs. He could turn on a fan. Most CPAPs are not that loud. It sounds like you've worked hard to help him over the years, now it's his turn to help you. Fear can make people very selfish, but he's got to push past that.
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Karl Grissom said:I am not married but can appreciate the problem CPAP can have on a marriage. One of CPAPs selling points, aside from health, is the stoping of sorning and is suppposed to be a benifit for your partner, but I haven't seen a machine that isn't noisey. Mine makes this anoying winning almost Darth Vader sound and it is supposed to be one of the quitest.
I can't image they are very sexy either for those intimate moments.;-)
Most people take the mask off to be intimate.
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Permalink Reply by Oswald Abraham on
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Hi Mary,
I understand how you feel, to cut a long story short, check out my website www.u-sleepwell.com
I have been using this sleep positioning system (side sleep)for about four years. It has reduced my snoring very substantially. My wife is happy about it, because she gets to sleep as well. I am also the inventor of this sleep positioning system(side sleep). It does take a week or so to adapt (true with any new habit). I think this will solve most problems.
Oswald
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tks so much. I often wonder how much I ENABLE the FEAR to propagate......And then I get so angry at myself and at Him.
Jenny Nixe said:Mary, as someone who also has panic disorder, I can sympathize with your husband's struggles. However, as with any mental or physical disorder, people with panic/anxiety must take responsibility for their own health. Forcing people around you to change their lives to accomodate your fear is not taking responsibility. Your husband could wear ear plugs. He could turn on a fan. Most CPAPs are not that loud. It sounds like you've worked hard to help him over the years, now it's his turn to help you. Fear can make people very selfish, but he's got to push past that.
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birdshell, good story, you should see if Resmed can make a one machine with dual hoses lol. Not sure if there would be a big market for it. I suppose it would work if you had different pressures.
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Mary,
I too have lost my husband to the "other room" due to noise from my mask and machine. Unfortunately something I have to live with and will not give up the CPAP as I sleep so much better now. Just have to find out what works best for you. I have changed from the nasal pillows to a nasal mask and found better success with noise reduction. I have also deligated my machine to a shelf on the bottom of an open night stand and that helped as well. I was very interested to hear from Becky that there are cotton mask liners that may also help with the noise. My suggestion is to hang in there, give hubby lots of kisses and encouragement and hope things get better by trying some of the suggestions. If these guys (and gals) can't help you figure something out, no one can!
Jan
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Permalink Reply by Amy on
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Mary hand in there I do not have a solution but I can say that your health is important and using the machine will help you to keep healthier longer.
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Hi Mary. Most modern machines are quiet enough so it usually mask leaks or styles that cause the problems. I see several others have made suggestions to help,in that regard. My husband was so disturbed by my flailing around,stopping breathing, jumping out of bed screaming I needed air,etc that he would never dare complain about my CPAP equipment. He has actually been quite supportive which is great because I felt like a complete freak when I came home with the full setup. If you don't feel that you can reclaim your half of the bed enjoy yourself creating a super feminine bedroom all your own!
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Permalink Reply by Mary Z on
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Mary, my partner likes to go to sleep with the TV on (we put it on a timer). At first I hated it and would lay there fuming. Then I realized that she really needs that TV to turn her mind off at night or she wouldn't sleep. When I got CPAP four years ago the TV became less of a problem (she surfs and is likely to fall asleep on quiet shows like politics and religion). I just say I love you, turn over and don my mask and then I can hardly hear the TV. I'm in my sleep cocoon and I find the machine actually condusive to sleep. I would give your husband time and space for a while- hopefully one day he will work through his panic disorder. If not I would work have at sustaining your relationship in other ways. Sometimes I feel this intolerance of CPAP by a partner is because of other problems in the marriage , but I don't sense them here. I would just make the best of things and love him as best I can. Iknow it's tough.
Good luck.
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Permalink Reply by DAVID J BURROWS on
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Hi, I have a Resmed CPAP with respironics full face masks. Have tried both the Medium and small masks and get leaks on both with machine being correspondingly noisy.
Have made myself some mask liners by tracing around mask to make a template adding about half an inch and cutting them out of an old tee shirt. The small liners were ok but were too tight on my face, using the medium mask with liners has improved my sleep quality, I now sleep right through instead of waking up every half hour or so after 3am and the machine is much more silent.
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Permalink Reply by Haitham PSG on
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dera Mary
I think I can help please tel me which CPAP company do you use? and what is the suitable pressure for you?
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