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You mentioned somewhere that you had gained some weight over the last year as well; may be something to consider in the difference. I was thinking that having a newborn must feel like having sleep apnea with no therapy, but maybe the apnea is actually worse, if there is a deprivation of oxygen that wouldn't necessarily occur with waking to care for the baby and not having OSA. You've got a double whammy there! At least you know it will get better with time. Just be extra careful to prevent accidents. Maybe take a few "sleep vacations" if you can.
In my humble & non-medical opinion, this is more of a schedule balance issue than a therapy issue, since you are very compliant with PAP therapy. I also have experienced the waking with heart racing, gasping for breath, and head pounding events you describe, and they are very uncomfortable and disconcerting. Of course you'll want to avoid this as much as possible to prevent the "other" types of damage this can do to your body over time.
I imagine your wife will need some "sleep vacations" as well. It could simply be a matter of scheduling an extra hour or two of sleep time per night, once or twice a week to get a little more REM sleep, or taking a nap when the baby is sleeping.
I have been considering experimenting with some audio recordings that have music or nature sounds with underlying rhythms that simulate specific brain wave patterns to help reset my brain during the day. Some of the ones I have found have several different offerings with varying brain wave patterns for specific purposes. Many of them run for about 30 minutes and so would require a similar time frame to utilize. They also recommend using head phones to create the needed effect. Look up Kelly Howell and/or Brainsync.com, also Dr. Jeffrey Thompson has some recordings for this purpose. I put them on my i pod and also have some flat speakers I use under my pillow at night with my i pod. I am not sure of the scientific validity of this but I believe it is of value, and is related to biofeedback. It is an extra boost for resetting the brain like vpap helps reset breathing. I have not had enough practice with this to say specifically how well it will work, but may be helpful for some, maybe yourself too. If possible, it would be good to use your xPAP during this audio therapy, but it might be good to do on a break sitting up at work, or during a plane trip, not necessarily sleeping.
Our brain is a very insecure and paranoid organ when it comes to our health and survival. Prior to PAP your subconscience was in a state of alert. Part of the initial struggle with PAP is our brain's inability to let its guard down. your brain actually has a hard time believing that you can protect it's life support system without him. Then when it finally feels safe you go and fall asllep without the fail safe. I believe that this was your brain saying WTF Mike.
Just my opinion though. you really should have your sleep evaluated every couple of years if possible.
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