"please keep me updated about oximeters "
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CPAP is killing my family life.
The last two years my family and I have been to hell and back due to my husbands snoring and now a CPAP machine. Don't get me wrong I know he has to have the machine to keep him alive while HE sleeps, but the machine is noisy (Philips Remstar Pro C-flex +), it has night lights that are so bright I can and do most nights read a book by them, I'm not sure if the lights can be turned off, but my husband either won't or can't, really helps me to sleep, then there is the mouth breathing or the hair dryer in the middle of the night, his mouth can be open for half an hour or more even though I shut his mouth, it falls back open, let me add the puuh sound that comes next. I go and sleep in the spare room to get some sleep, only for him to follow me, but without the machine so I then have to listen to him snore the rest of the night. My children can't sleep near him due to the snoring, they can handle the noise of the machine ie it's white noise or humming whichever way you want to refer to it, but they can't handle the break throug snoring, mouth breathing or puuh that eventually comes through the night. As I have already said I know he needs this machine to help him breathe and stay alive, but truly does it have to come at the expense of our children and myself, why was there no alternative given other than a CPAP machine, surely there are alternatives? I spent eighteen months sleeping on a couch because of the snoring, if I tried to get him to roll over he either didn't hear me or would yell at me that he had rolled over, if I was lucky enough to get some sleep in the bed he would twitch and flail his arms so badly that occasionally I would get a black eye, one night I even had my nose broken by him! I have been told by my doctor that I need to learn to live with the machine, but do I have to do this at my expense, I have developed ventricular ectopy because of my ongoing sleeps problem that this has caused, I have the same amount of children that my husband does,(3) I work the same hours as he does (between 70 & 80 a week it's our own business) I cook, clean the house, do the washing & ironing, running the kids to school and picking them up all on about one hours sleep a night. Now before any one tries to tell me to wear ear plugs at night so I can sleep I only have 10% hearing and need to be able to hear the kids etc at night, I don't believe I am being selfish in this situation so much as I am asking for a bit of equality. I don't want to break up my marriage we were childhood sweethearts (I've known him since I was 8 I'm now 46) we have been married for nearly 24 years, but I'm truly at my wits end. If any one has some sensible ideas I would like to hear them, if you are simply going to tell me to get over myself don't bother to post a reply as I have tried everything!
Views: 5023
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Mary Z on
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D.M.H., the "questions" you need to ask are not really questions, but you need to tell a sleep doctor exactly what you're telling us. You can't bear the CPAP because.... I don't remember now if you're getting an appointment with a sleep doctor, but you need to do that.
Detail the problems your husband is having with the machine.It seems very simple (though devastating) to me- the machine is too loud, the lights are too bright, he is breathing through hias mouth and making lots of noise and it is all keeping you awake. Do mention all that flailing in bed. He may have another sleep disorder on top of sleep apnea.
I think we've said it sounds like your husbands main problem may be the mask. It sounds as if he needs a full face mask if he's opening his mouth during the night. There were suggestions about what to do about the lights. Maybe your counselor can help you clarify exactly where the problem lies and what questions you want to ask.
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Permalink Reply by D.M.H. on
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We finally got into see an E.N.T., who found that it was an OSA of sorts, he has had nasal polyps and enlarged adenoids, both of which have been removed now, no cpap needed as the results of another sleep test have shown no sleep apnea, or OSA present, he only has to make a few personal health choices now ie quit smoking, lose a bit of weight and gain some overall fitness. The old sleep clinic has been phoning him to go for further sleep tests on their terms, meaning there is to be no input from his family or friends, this seems illogical to me as it is family and friends that are the main support system for sleep apnea patients, they are still under the belief that cpap is the only way he should be sleeping now and forever. We have reconciled our differences, it has been a long lonely journey for both of us, but we are back together and are stronger now as a couple than ever before. Thank you to all of you for your thoughts and suggestions, you are an amazing group of people. My journey through the sleep test and diagnosis mine field continues.
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If you feel your journey through a sleep test and diagnosis is a minefield I suggest you find a different provider. This should not be a procedure fraught with peril.
As to family and friends having input about the sleep test, would you mind elaborating? I don't remember family and friends mentioned as his main support group regarding CPAP.
I'm glad you have come through this as a stronger couple.
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Permalink Reply by Kristi Halsey on
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I put a washcloth over the display on my machine to block the light.
Mary Z said:A new machine shouldn't be noisy. Is the noise coming from the machine or mask? That won't help with the lights. Medical tape over the top of the lights?
I'm sure you love your husband, I understand.
Keep us posted on the results of your own sleep study. Surgery is usually regarded as a last resort since CPAP works so well for most people.
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