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Well, kids, here's my best (or worst) post yet.

The guy I've been seeing just broke things off, via email!, because I'm not healthy enough for him anymore. I'm not healing fast enough.

What a load of crap.....

Has anybody on here had a relationship impacted by apnea?

Susan McCord

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Susan,
I am so sorry for his ignorance. It is a shame you couldn't have dumped his butt sooner.

The bright side is you are now free to find Prince Charming on his white steed.

I saw one post, on another site I believe, where a wife was so self indulgent as to allow her husband's *PAP usage to affect her desire for him in bed. If I would have been the husband, I do believe I would have been checking to see if she hadn't taken out a few extra insurance policies. (I would be watching out for deep holes and banana peels too!)

Personally, you are much better off without someone as shallow as he seems to have been.
Thanks, Dan--it's kind of a shock to hear that I'm not healthy enough. What is UP with that?? It ain't like I've got some contagious killer disease!............

My good news for the day is that I continue to sleep much better, coming up on a normal night's sleep. I'm stoked about that!!! I personally think my healing's going just fine, A..hole!! ( Not YOU, Dan!!!!)

Seriously though, I know you're right, Dan. It's just a shock to run into a brick wall for this reason. He's been acting all supportive, doing research, etc. He's even been on here, supposedly trying to understand the intricacies of apnea. Now suddenly, ....... oh well, I know you're right. I WILL say Prince Charming on his white steed is an elusive devil.......!!!

Dan Lyons said:
Susan,
I am so sorry for his ignorance. It is a shame you couldn't have dumped his butt sooner.

The bright side is you are now free to find Prince Charming on his white steed.

I saw one post, on another site I believe, where a wife was so self indulgent as to allow her husband's *PAP usage to affect her desire for him in bed. If I would have been the husband, I do believe I would have been checking to see if she hadn't taken out a few extra insurance policies. (I would be watching out for deep holes and banana peels too!)

Personally, you are much better off without someone as shallow as he seems to have been.
Hey, uh, Susan, I've got news for you! Your health is NOT the reason this jerk broke up w/you! He was looking for a way out BEFORE this apnea bit came up. He helped you out w/research to ease his conscience as he looked for a reason to break off the relationship. Now he figures he not only helped you out, but he did his good deed to "make up" for his ditching you.

Be grateful. You deserve better. And there are plenty better out there. You deserve honesty and he isn't.
#$%^ HIM!
'Ya know, Judy, it never even occurred to me that he was using the "being involved" support crap to ease his conscience.....I just took it as his taking an interest in my unexpected life challenge and trying to be supportive....you may very well be right....You definitely ARE right that I'm better off finding out now than later. I was just so shocked--no apparent signs ahead of time, and over the internet, for God's sake? Now there's a class act!!! Who does that?????

Wow, just typing this out makes me realize how much better off I am. I guess the apnea thing's so new that I wasn't prepared for the reasons he gave. We've been really active with camping, canoeing, etc. (which I fully intend to continue as soon as I get some energy back). I can't lift over 25# because of my heart. Not that I'm not strong enough--I am--but that's just one of the realities of that particular disease. And now he thinks I can't go camping, which is absolutely not true from what I've learned here), and he thinks (for absolutely NO good reason that I won't be able to help him in his garden, which has nothing to do with anything, and on top of that I'm still battling fatigue. Despite repeated conversations about what this apnea does to bodies, and that the healing process only STARTS with PAP tx--that it takes time to get beyond the sleep debt, or even to even to catch up to it (if we ever do--I haven't come close to achieving that yet), he still thinks I should be all better now that I'm getting some quality sleep (for a whole week now, so what's the problem? ) lol

I just found all this out yesterday!

God, just writing this out makes me realize he's been living a lie for awhile now. He seems to think I'm impaired now, as opposed to being okay but with some physical limitations....he's 67 years old as well and apparently thinks he's immune from ever becoming less healthy than he is. Oh well, to hell with it. I think I've been discriminated against for reasons I can't do a damn thing about so, yeah, I'm sure you and Dan are both right. Onward and upward. Once the shock wears off, I'm just gonna press on......meanwhile, I got a new mask yesterday which is AWESOME! Fits perfectly. Who knew??? And I'm continuing this sound, deep sleep every night. PLUS, I go to sleep almost the minute I get my mask on, even the old one. I really feel like I'm getting my feet under me now. My pressure probably needs to be raised, but the only other thing I have to be patient about is the frickin' deadly fatigue. I think that's gonna be kinda slow to resolve, but we'll see....

I don't want to crow about this but, I swear, my DME tech is becoming my guardian angel. He's SO willing to help me, with ANYTHING related to apnea. He returns phone calls immediately, he talks me through stuff, he doesn't hesitate to exchange equipment or replace stuff that's not working--and he does it all with nothing but smiles and encouragement. After hearing what some people go through with this issue, I feel incredibly blessed....

Well, I seem to have a lot to say today, none of which needs to be repeated. Thank you SO MUCH, for your support on this personal deal, Judy.And Dan too. What a pain in the ass.....but here I am, right back here on SG, getting picked up and dusted off AGAIN. You guys are just the best.

Susan McCord

Judy said:
Hey, uh, Susan, I've got news for you! Your health is NOT the reason this jerk broke up w/you! He was looking for a way out BEFORE this apnea bit came up. He helped you out w/research to ease his conscience as he looked for a reason to break off the relationship. Now he figures he not only helped you out, but he did his good deed to "make up" for his ditching you.

Be grateful. You deserve better. And there are plenty better out there. You deserve honesty and he isn't.
Ahhh, Rock, another guardian angel in my life. You're always there with exactly what I need to hear and you speak my language which comforts me, and always has, to no end. I hope the people in your life understand and appreciate the quality of work and service you're doing, to say nothing about your unique ability to connect with people, no matter WHAT the issue is.....thank you. Again. I'm sending you a hug....

Susan McCord

Rock Hinkle said:
#$%^ HIM!
Susan, how great that you have such a good local DME support!!! And, yeah, Rock Hinkle is one of the "specials", isn't he? We definitely want to keep him! I strongly suspect he has the loving support w/his family and that it contributes to his caring and concern for those of us who benefit from his advice, assistance and concern.
Hey, I am sorry for what happened. That was a really rotten thing to happen to you. Things happen in life and if he wants a plastic Barbie, I am sure there are stores that sell them. ( I will keep all my other comments to myself :>S) Now you can open up space for a real man with real feelings and real support. Too bad for him!

Now...if you can find someone like ROCK...then you have a keeper!
OMG, Bee! That Barbie thing made me think about sending him one (wish I could find one that looks tired!!!). I may do it, just for the hell of it. He's such a concrete thinker, he won't even get it!!! Whether or not I do doesn't really matter. It makes me LMAO just thinking about it!!!!!!

I so appreciate your support. Honestly, I'm starting to feel like I have another family at SG. We owe Mike a huge hit of gratitude for starting up this website. I wonder if he had a clue how powerful it would become. Everyone has so much to offer, each in his/her own way...which HAS to include ALL the professionals who volunteer their time and energy to help us all out. Unbelievable demonstration of the power of human spirit....

Thanks again. I'm seriously thinking about that Barbie thing. It's just passive-aggressive enough to amuse the s... out of me!!!!! Not really my style, but right now it's just too funny to ignore!!!

Susan McCord :-p)

BeeAsleep said:
Hey, I am sorry for what happened. That was a really rotten thing to happen to you. Things happen in life and if he wants a plastic Barbie, I am sure there are stores that sell them. ( I will keep all my other comments to myself :>S) Now you can open up space for a real man with real feelings and real support. Too bad for him!

Now...if you can find someone like ROCK...then you have a keeper!
I am gonna have to buy new hats today!

My wife's father had MS through most of his life. Due to the sickness his sister kind of stepped in to help raise my wife (they never had kids). The aunt and her husband have been married for over 30 years. Due to an invention at the family owned engineering firm some years ago they are very well off. My wife and I have been together for just over 7 years now (married 3/5/09). Almost that entire time the uncle has been in and out of the hospital for a number of life threatening problems. Most of which can be attributed to his lifestyle. His wife has stuck by him. This last year we found out that the aunt was sick. He divorced her.
THAT wife is an moron...........maybe we should introduce her to MY moron. LOL

McCord

Dan Lyons said:
Susan,
I am so sorry for his ignorance. It is a shame you couldn't have dumped his butt sooner.

The bright side is you are now free to find Prince Charming on his white steed.

I saw one post, on another site I believe, where a wife was so self indulgent as to allow her husband's *PAP usage to affect her desire for him in bed. If I would have been the husband, I do believe I would have been checking to see if she hadn't taken out a few extra insurance policies. (I would be watching out for deep holes and banana peels too!)

Personally, you are much better off without someone as shallow as he seems to have been.
Rock, I have several well-worn but effective hats that I'll loan you...don't let the b......s get you down...

McCord

Rock Hinkle said:
I am gonna have to buy new hats today!

My wife's father had MS through most of his life. Due to the sickness his sister kind of stepped in to help raise my wife (they never had kids). The aunt and her husband have been married for over 30 years. Due to an invention at the family owned engineering firm some years ago they are very well off. My wife and I have been together for just over 7 years now (married 3/5/09). Almost that entire time the uncle has been in and out of the hospital for a number of life threatening problems. Most of which can be attributed to his lifestyle. His wife has stuck by him. This last year we found out that the aunt was sick. He divorced her.

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