"please keep me updated about oximeters "
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Sex and CPAP: viewer discretion advised (not for the easily offended)
came across this re: Sex and CPAP and thought it actually amounted to some solid advice:
Question: I was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea, which requires me to wear an air-pressure mask to bed each night. While I sleep better than I ever have, I now look like a top-gun pilot shooting down MiGs when I go to bed. I can't tell you how uncool and unattractive I look with this mask on my face. I've tried to use humor about it with a few women, but when I put it on I can see the sheer horror in their eyes. Every time I have someone stay over, I sleep (I use the term loosely since I end up getting no sleep at all) without the mask. So any suggestions on how to handle this situation? It's sleep versus sex. I'd rather not choose. Help.
Answer: Actually, you've got the wrong combatants fighting each other. It's not sleep versus sex, it's reality versus the illusion of manly perfection. See, you could easily have sex plus sleep, but it requires you to present yourself in a way that makes you feel vulnerable. I personally think that's a good thing. As someone who makes an ass of himself at least once a day, I learned a long time ago that the only way I was going to make it through life with some self-esteem intact would be to embrace my God-given talent for awkwardness. Humor is definitely the way to deal with your sleep apnea mask. I mean, what's the big deal about it anyway? At least the sex act is over by the time you have to put it on, which means that in terms of embarrassment, the mask is nowhere near as deadly as a midcoitus fart, or not being able to get your dick inside the night's designated hole. Besides, any woman who wouldn't have sex with you again because you have to wear a funny-looking mask to bed afterward is literally not a woman who's worth losing sleep over.
Question: I was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea, which requires me to wear an air-pressure mask to bed each night. While I sleep better than I ever have, I now look like a top-gun pilot shooting down MiGs when I go to bed. I can't tell you how uncool and unattractive I look with this mask on my face. I've tried to use humor about it with a few women, but when I put it on I can see the sheer horror in their eyes. Every time I have someone stay over, I sleep (I use the term loosely since I end up getting no sleep at all) without the mask. So any suggestions on how to handle this situation? It's sleep versus sex. I'd rather not choose. Help.
Answer: Actually, you've got the wrong combatants fighting each other. It's not sleep versus sex, it's reality versus the illusion of manly perfection. See, you could easily have sex plus sleep, but it requires you to present yourself in a way that makes you feel vulnerable. I personally think that's a good thing. As someone who makes an ass of himself at least once a day, I learned a long time ago that the only way I was going to make it through life with some self-esteem intact would be to embrace my God-given talent for awkwardness. Humor is definitely the way to deal with your sleep apnea mask. I mean, what's the big deal about it anyway? At least the sex act is over by the time you have to put it on, which means that in terms of embarrassment, the mask is nowhere near as deadly as a midcoitus fart, or not being able to get your dick inside the night's designated hole. Besides, any woman who wouldn't have sex with you again because you have to wear a funny-looking mask to bed afterward is literally not a woman who's worth losing sleep over.
Views: 39
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Mike on
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this is a family oriented forum! just kidding. no worries. i like the response given by the advice columnist.
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Permalink Reply by Rock Conner RRT on
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I get questions like this alot. There are common social issues associated w/ CPAP, & this is a big one.
I had been married 10 years when I first entered CPAP world, so I don't have experience facing a new lover with my ResMed CPAP & my Breeze headgear. Sounds frightening, though. When patients bring it up, I acknowledge & validate the concern, then advise: 1) Don't put the dang thing on until it's time to go to SLEEP. 2) Make certain that your new friend has such a good time that CPAP is no threat to continuing the relationship.
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Permalink Reply by Glen England on
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Well, I had been married for like 12 years when I started CPAP. It did not bother my wife at all, except for all the obnoxious sounds my mask made when it wasn't tight enough at first, or if I got a little sweaty and it makes noise which it still does at times, she wakes me tells me to reposition, and that's the end of it. I think any spouse make or female who cannot understand and accept the spouse's need for CPAP needs help. The acceptance of a GF or BF of someone who needs CPAP and cannot accept it is not marriage material. Years before I started needing CPAP therapy, my wife had to start wearing a compression boot on one of her legs that helps force fluid from the foot up to her thigh. It's bulky, the pumping action and releasing action makes noise, and it's this big foreign balloon think around her leg under the blankets. I grew to accept how it felt under the blankets, and grew very used to the noise the pump makes when it runs.
We both like "noise" to sleep with and we grew to really like the sound. We now suppliment this with a "noise machine" that sounds like a waterfall and a river. My CPAP machine is virutally silent. Neither of these two therapies made any difference in bed. Like the respondant above answered, they can be applied when it's time to sleep. One should never worry about such things, nor should they ever have to worrry about such things.
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