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Choose the CPAP machine or me! I need my sleep too!
I have a husband who uses a CPAP machine at night. This machine is noisy. He gets a full night sleep every night due to this contraption - and I don't because I am a light sleeper. I am so tired of being called a liar that the machine is noisy. He makes fun of me cause I take naps on the weekends - I need too - to be able to catch up on my lost sleep. I am being told that he needs this to stay alive - what about me the spouse. Am I cutting my life shorter due to his stupid contraption making me lose sleep. This is to the point of where I want him to chose between me or the machine.
Views: 1558
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by RockRpsgt on
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You do understand that without PAP therapy your husband's health will continually degrade? Surely there is a compromise over ending your marriage!?
WOW! There are many apnea support groups in the Ft Wayne area. Maybe you and your husband could attend one together. Your light sleeping could also be evidence of a sleep disorder.
I do not think I could ask let alone accept my wife's decision to possibly shorten her life for me.
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Permalink Reply by Tired of Cpap machine on
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oh yes I understand this affects his health. But I am cranky all day and have to be tired all of the time. But what about my sleep - my light sleep is just because I am mom - and have to listen for sneaky teenagers or their boyfriends sneaking in. I always hear about his health - sorry this has gone on for years - and I am TIRED literally. I have to sleep at the foot of the bed because I can't stand the sound of the machine. But I know his health should come first - but I am really tired of this machine. If you could possibly understand my side. Maybe there is another solution to his sleep disorder than a machine.
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Permalink Reply by Darillyn Patterson on
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Is it possible to sleep in separate bedrooms? That would certainly be better than breaking up the marriage, and you would be able to get the sleep you need while he uses a machine which is helping him to sleep as he ought to. If that isn't possible, maybe a good set of earplugs for you would help.
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I am sorry as I may have not been empathetic to your situation. Honestly I can't understand your situation as I have never been pushed that far. I do understand what not sleeping welll does. Your husband coming off PAP is most likely not an option. other than that can you think of any other options to get a good night's rest for yourself?
It sounds to me like there is more to this than just bad sleep.
Tired of Cpap machine said:oh yes I understand this affects his health. But I am cranky all day and have to be tired all of the time. But what about my sleep - my light sleep is just because I am mom - and have to listen for sneaky teenagers or their boyfriends sneaking in. I always hear about his health - sorry this has gone on for years - and I am TIRED literally. I have to sleep at the foot of the bed because I can't stand the sound of the machine. But I know his health should come first - but I am really tired of this machine. If you could possibly understand my side. Maybe there is another solution to his sleep disorder than a machine.
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I have suggested another bedroom many times, and have always been told by him - that we are a married couple and that is out of the question. I am trying to find a solution - but keep hitting a wall.
Darillyn Patterson said:Is it possible to sleep in separate bedrooms? That would certainly be better than breaking up the marriage, and you would be able to get the sleep you need while he uses a machine which is helping him to sleep as he ought to. If that isn't possible, maybe a good set of earplugs for you would help.
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There is nothing else. I sleep at the foot of the bed, due to the sound of the machine, and he used to have a bad fitting mask that blew cold air on me all night. I have just been pushed to my breaking point. I am tired of being made fun of for taking naps. I work full-time, go to school one night a week, and have sneaky teenagers in my life. This all takes a toll on a person after a while. I only joined this forum to see if there were suggestions. I have asked him numerous times to call his doctor, and he will not do it. He gets mad if I do it. I just want my fair share of sleep. I can no longer operate as a robot. As I answered in the comment above, I have asked for a different room to sleep and I have been told no. I just want to get my Zzzzz's.
RockRpsgt said:I am sorry as I may have not been empathetic to your situation. Honestly I can't understand your situation as I have never been pushed that far. I do understand what not sleeping welll does. Your husband coming off PAP is most likely not an option. other than that can you think of any other options to get a good night's rest for yourself?
It sounds to me like there is more to this than just bad sleep.
Tired of Cpap machine said:oh yes I understand this affects his health. But I am cranky all day and have to be tired all of the time. But what about my sleep - my light sleep is just because I am mom - and have to listen for sneaky teenagers or their boyfriends sneaking in. I always hear about his health - sorry this has gone on for years - and I am TIRED literally. I have to sleep at the foot of the bed because I can't stand the sound of the machine. But I know his health should come first - but I am really tired of this machine. If you could possibly understand my side. Maybe there is another solution to his sleep disorder than a machine.
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Your husband sounds like one unreasonable, selfish, control freak. Yes, he needs his sleep w/the CPAP to save his health. BUT - as you say, you need yours and he's obviously NOT willing to work w/you to find a solution. A simple discussion w/the DME provider's RRT might be able to solve the problem - and he is refusing you even that attempt at solving the problem.
He would NOT be calling the shots about this w/me! I'd be the one proffering the ultimatum. And no, it would NOT be that he give up using CPAP. I would move out of the bedroom and prepare myself comfortable new sleeping quarters. And if he considered that grounds for ending the marriage - so be it.
Get some backbone, girl!!! Do NOT be confrontational or accusatory, just matter of fact. The comments about the "sneaky teenagers" says that there is a LOT going wrong w/this marriage and family. The teens quite likely learned a good bit of their "attitude" from your husband.
Remember, as Ann Landers always said, "people can't use you as a doormat unless you let them". Good luck and God bless.
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Permalink Reply by Mary Z on
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How old is his machine? Perhaps he needs to invest in one of the newer, quieter machines, Is it the machine of the mask that's making so much noise? A new mask may be in order. Some people have found that by placing the machine on a rubber bathmat they can muffle the sound. Perhaps he can sleep with it on the floor.
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Permalink Reply by Ginny Edmundson on
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I can hardly hear any sound from my machine (it is only 4 months old) and neither can my husband. And we are NOT hard of hearing. Maybe new machine for him would work. Iam amazed how quiet they are.
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Permalink Reply by sleepycarol on
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I would check into the newer machines. The newer machines are quieter than previous machines.
Try a rubber mouse pad under it to help cushion the sound of it. That maybe all that it needs.
Have you tried ear plugs? I know that doesn't sound like much of a solution, but if it helps, maybe worth a try and they are cheap.
Have you tried some "white noise" in the background? Many people swear by it and say that having a fan or something similar helps mask the noise of the cpap.
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