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I dose not happen much but I will wake up with a sore throat and the thing that hangs down in the back of my throat will be swolen to the point where it will touch the back of my tounge and make me gag. What would cause this?

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I don't know what kind of mask you are using, but if you are a mouth breather perhaps a full face mask would help.  You would get some humidity to your throat.  Also you might want to see an ENT about that uvula (the thing that hangs down over the back of your throat).  Not to scare you- I'm only guessing, but it might be some trimming (this is only an idea, only an ENT can tell you).
I have not used my cpap for a long time. I just could not get used to it.

There are other options.  See an ENT- though surgery can be painful, it might be an option.  See your dentist about a MMA.  You need to do something!  Did you give CPAP a fair trial?  If you didn't try for six months at least you haven't given it a chance.  Ask on the forum about the specific problems you were having.  If it's the mask we recommend wearing it during the day while relaxing to get used to the feel of it- doesn't have to be a long time- 1/2 to hour.  Wear it at night when going to bed slowly increasing the time every night or every week.  We hear everyday from peple who say they can't get used to it, or they won't be tethered to a machine.  Then with encouragement and by asking questions about how to start using the machine and their specific problems they become successful. Another method is to be frank with your doc and ask for a sedative to help you get over the hump.

How bad is your sleep apnea, do you remember how many apnes events from your sleep study?

I've got to think you want to do something or the machine would be in the closet, sold, or returned to the DME.  The very fact that you're on this forum should give you hope that you can master the machine.

I wish you luck and hope you will realize that the pills, or doing nothing is not an option if you want to stay healthy.  Good luck.

Your sleeping with your mouth open.

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