I've been on CPAP since last April, but I only just saw my sleep doctor in November. Unfortunately, I absolutely hated him. I found him to be a know-it-all with a set speech he wanted to make about sleep apnea (questions clearly irritated him) and a completely made up mind about the condition. He told me that my sleep apnea was caused by my "morbid obesity" and he looked me up and down obviously and with contempt and said, "I'm surprised it's not worse than it is." He told me all sleep apnea is caused by obesity, unless it's a birth defect (and he gave me 10 minutes on the various birth defects that can cause it) and losing weight will cure it. He said it was ridiculous to think that my grandfather dying in his sleep at age 52 had anything to do with sleep apnea, and that no one ever died of sleep apnea. It’s also not genetic, according to him, so my father and two brothers who have it “must also be obese.” He seemed disappointed when I told him I was doing well on CPAP and had not missed one night, and told me that most people go through 2-3 masks before they get well adjusted. He also treated me to 10 minutes on the evils of insurance companies and how they make him assess people when it's not needed (he didn't want to listen to my lungs) and how the really good treatment for sleep apnea is too expensive and insurance won't pay. (My appointment lasted well over 1.5 hours. I almost got up and walked out several times, but my innate courtesy prevented me.)
Since I saw him I’ve been so discouraged. Now my CPAP, which used to be my friend, is a symbol of morbid obesity. In our large household it’s pretty well impossible to get a nap without someone walking in on you (my washer and dryer are accessed through my bedroom) and I am always afraid someone will see me with my CPAP on. I’ve taken two naps since the doctor’s appointment, both without CPAP. Someone might see. I didn’t care before this. I wake up with a bad headache each time; so no more naps. Nighttime I put it on as late as possible and take it off by first morning light. Needless to say, my sleep is suffering.
I am so discouraged. He made me feel very ashamed of my condition.
I need to find another sleep doctor, but it’s not an easy specialist to find. And what if I encounter the same contempt again? I am not sure I am ready for that at all.
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