A publicly traded company in Canada made an announcement yesterday that would allow us Sleep Apnea folks to give the Six Million Dollar Man some stiff competition, at least when it comes to healthy breathing at night. The company, Victhom Human Bionics Inc., filed a patent related to "decod[ing] what the lungs and the airway passages are reporting to the brain to identify [when someone with Sleep Apnea] is in distress and is in need of help. . . [O]nce apneas [or hypopneas] are detected, novel neurostimulation therapies can be used to restore breathing to patients in a very short time."

Now, if you have no idea what that really means, you're in good company; neither do we. We would need more information to figure it out. But one thing is certain: it sure sounds cool. Sounds cooler when you read the "About the Company" page on Victhom's website. They specialize in human bionics, which they describe as "a discipline dedicated to the creation of devices that can instantaneously interact with the human body to replace or restore biomechanical or physiological functions. To achieve this, the products must contain components capable of measuring the behavior of targeted bodily functions, interpreting this measurement via artificial intelligence and providing instructions."

Victhom, we wish you the best of luck in figuring out how to Jerry-Rig our brains so that we can breathe easily at night. Until then, I'll be attached by a 6-foot hose to a blower at night.